Now I Know How Not to Flip My Tank

Well, y’all, we are really connected now! We just hooked up our AFN box that we bought used from a deploying soldier. That’s the cable box that allows us to receive American Family Network free on our TV. We get twenty-something channels of U.S. shows mixed from cable and public networks and aimed specifically at military families overseas. I think they air it in Europe, Korea, Iraq and Afghanistan.

But of course, as with everything, AFN has a catch. There are no commercials at all, but in their place are cheesy and often depressing PSAs. Between guests on Leno we learned not to drink and drive, not to beat our children, how to report sexual abuse, how to defeat a gambling addiction, how to use our right to free speech responsibly, and to drive our tanks slowly so they won’t flip over. Sound advice. I’ll try to remember that. There is also plenty of patriotic propaganda, just in case we forget to love our country. (No risk of that from me, even though I am very much aware of its foibles. It’s kind of like I feel about the Church and family – I love it, even though I don’t always love all of its choices).

After two months away from American TV, Dave and I sat transfixed until late last night. We watched old reruns of Friends and Seinfeld, caught a bit of Desperate Housewives (which neither of us had ever seen), some of Jay Leno, John Stewart, and Stephen Colbert. We are now saturated. We had gotten used to not having TV, and frankly I prefer the quiet. Although, it was neat to see some familiar faces and hear jokes in a language I understand.

At the Marriott we had German TV, and I sort of miss that because it really helped my language. Kids’ programming was about the level of German I could understand. I think we can still get German TV somehow, but it is expensive.

So without German TV we may not know what is going on with Spongebob Schwammkopf or Thomas und Seine Freunde. And without regular commercials we may not know what kind of toilet cleanser works best on those tough stains or which shampoo will evoke ecstatic reactions in the shower. But I guess we will get by. And at least we won’t flip over any tanks.