Beaming!

I had thought I was going to get to see my husband in a purple mini. No, he’s not a cross-dresser. Mini Cooper. We test-drove a few and they were cute and fun. But unless we got the Clubman stretch model, my kids were squished in the back seat. I can’t imagine a road trip with even more whining (“Mom, Luke keeps sticking his knee in my ear. Oh, wait, that’s my knee.”) And unless we got the turbo sport model, it drove like a tin can on casters.

So we drove a BMW 120 series, and although it had way more oomph and a bit more backseat space, the funky rounded ergonomically-correct seats made the car seats sit at an angle facing each other. Now we had two kids with feet touching and, well, you know how that would go over.

I wonder what kind of car we’d have bought if we had no children? Something with only two seats, no doubt.

But we finally found a winner. It’s big enough to be a family car without being nerdy or boxy. It’s dependable, safe, fuel efficient and cool enough to get us through the inevitable mid-life crisis that will be upon us before long.

We are now the proud parents of a bouncy Monaco Blue BMW 335i! Its due date is in two weeks. I can’t wait to hold it, stroke it, to hear its first sounds. I can’t wait to smell that clean scent of a Bimmer fresh from the bath. I sure wish Grandma lived close enough to visit.

But this baby will rarely use a child safety seat. No, the 335 will be Dave’s commuter car. I will keep the 1995 Mitsubishi Galant for my occasional errands that are not within walking distance. It’s old and beat up, but it has been a dependable car and it still gets really good gas mileage. We’ll use his car for long trips, maybe, and perhaps occasionally on weekends. But I have to declare this publicly so that we will stick to it: THERE WILL BE NO EATING IN THE BMW! As it stands now, you could feed a family of twelve for a week on the fries and gummi bears found between the seats of the Mitsubishi.

I’m really excited for Dave to have a great new car. He has worked so hard for so long, and I think he deserves to have a big reward. And I’m even more thrilled that now we each have transportation when we need it. I’m so tired of doing the one-car tango and being house-bound.

Now, I have to admit that there is one major drawback to owning a BMW. We live in a neighborhood full of Mercedes employees. My American neighbor, the one who had told me that our old Galant was “bringing the neighborhood down” now warns me that our BMW will “get us excommunicated in this neighborhood.” This is from a man who himself owns a “Bay Em Vay” (as the locals call it), but who reminds me that he had his before he moved here so he is exempt from criticism. My reply to all of that is easy. When Mercedes starts offering decent deals through the American military sales folks, or when our Mercedes friends are able to offer us a discount, then we’ll talk. In the meantime, we have a killer new baby that we were able to pay a good price for in dollars (which is how we get paid). And anyway, our Mercedes friends are nice. I don’t think they’ll slash our tires. They won’t have a chance. When this baby isn’t on the autobahn, she’ll be safely tucked in the garage each night.

P.S. A little trivia for you. Do you know why it is called a “Bimmer” and not a “Beamer” or a “Beemer”? It’s because Beamer is slang for a BMW motorbike. Bimmer is the car. I’m sure people get confused because new BMW owners “beam” when first get behind the wheel. So there. Ain’t I just a well of useless knowledge?