Feeling like Hallo-wieners

Well, we’ve been busy around here. Dave is swamped at work, I’m busy with school and mothering and wifing, and the kids are busy being kids.

We finally got the Mini this week. We’re a little sad that it is not the Bimmer we had planned for, but it is adorable. And it gives us freedom that have missed the past seven months with only one car.

A couple of weekends ago we managed to get to Bavaria to Oberammergau. Dave and I had been there in 1997, but we thought the kids would love to see it. It is the quaint little old town in the hills where they perform an amazing outdoor passion play every ten years as a way to thank God from sparing them from the 1633 Bubonic Plague (which a teacher friend’s student in Texas once referred to in an essay as the “Bluebonnet Plaque”—but I digress). We want to go to the 41st performance in 2010 if we can still get tickets. They sell out early, even though the play is performed for five months while it is warm enough outside.

So anyway, we rented a small apartment for the weekend. We arrived at night in the pitch dark, so we couldn't see the area, but we could hear the cowbells coming from all directions. When we awoke the next day we were astounded by a breathtaking view of mountains, hills, and brilliantly colored changing leaves. It looked like God had spilled a bag of Skittles with all of the reds, oranges, yellows, greens and purples in the trees.

We spent our time hiking, taking a cable car to the top of a mountain, and visiting Schloss Linderhof, another one of Mad King Ludwig’s castles. It is a cool one, with plenty of ornate rooms, fabulous gardens, big fountains, play houses shaped like mosques and temples, and a secret grotto with a lake inside where the king would paddle around in a swan-shaped boat and play dress-up. Like Neuschwanstein, which we’ve not yet taken the kids to, its décor is based mostly on fairy tales and Wagnerian operas. It’s sort of like Disneyworld without the rides.

The following weekend we went to the Krauterfest (cabbage festival) in Echterdingen. That was fun. I’ve never eaten so much sauerkraut in my life. Awesome. The next weekend we strolled along the Neckar River in Tuebingen, taking in the relaxing views of willow trees hanging over the water as gondolas floated by. There we went to a jazz festival for kids in the city library, then let the kids jump in giant leaf piles in the park. I wish I had taken my camera. I’ve never seen such expressions of glee on my kids' faces.

So we’ve had some fun. Still, I would be less than honest if I didn’t admit that I’ve had to beat off some encroaching depression that threatened to pull me under this past month. I can’t really say what it was that had me so down. Maybe it was watching the warm summer slide past. Perhaps it was that my allergies have kicked in like they haven’t since I was a kid. Maybe it's a little homesickness. It could be worry about the upcoming presidential election. Or maybe I was just overwhelmed.

I realize how stupid it is that I set myself up for stress with ridiculously high expectations for myself. What else is new? This time it is about my language program.

I am working hard, and I feel like I am at the top of the heap in my class. But several neighbors have decided that I have until Christmas and then they will no longer speak English to me at all. It makes me feel lousy since I’ve not even been here eight months (most of which were spent getting settled and adjusted) and I’ve only been in a class for one month. The only German I knew before I came here was how to order a beer at Oktoberfest. They all studied English in school as kids, did studies abroad in England, Canada, and America, and speak my language better than I do. I’m already so self-conscious about the fact that they have to speak English to me, but I’m even more embarrassed to speak German to them. I know they are just trying to show support, but they don’t know how much pressure I already put on myself. I hate being in linguistic limbo, where I understand enough German not to be able to play dumb, but not enough to actually sound smart. I understand about half of what I hear, and I can only make a few grammatically-correct sentences. How the heck am I supposed to be fluent by Christmas if we won’t even cover all of the cases in class before then? I may just have to hide from my friends until I can make sense when I talk.

So today is Halloween. Last week we put out some cute but tacky yard decorations, just little purple and green goblins on tombstones. The neighbor kids were very curious about them. Some even poked them with sticks and backed away quickly in case they jumped up and said “Boo”.

The commissary ran out of pumpkins, so we will miss out on our tradition of carving jack-o-lanterns, roasting seeds in garlic butter, and making fresh pumpkin muffins. The kids are really disappointed about that.

I had heard that Germans are starting to do more trick or treating, but to be sure I asked my German friends. Oops. I think I hit a nerve. I got responses like, “We feel like that is just another American thing that comes over here like a tidal wave. We don’t have to do all of the things Americans do.” Or “But we are Christians. We don’t celebrate evil things.” Or “It’s only American commercialism that makes Halloween a holiday.” And “I think it is rude to teach children to ask for candy! Especially with a threat to do tricks on you if you don’t give it to them!” Surely they don’t imagine little five-year old Cinderellas and Power Rangers TP-ing houses if they don’t fork over the Gummi Baerchen.

I explained to them that we are Christians too, and that we always saw Halloween as a way to make light of evil, to make it less scary and to show it that it can’t have power over goodness. I hate the gory scary stuff myself. But the holiday has a sense of humor. The tradition of people dressing up started as a way to “trick” the evil spirits into passing them by. It is good, innocent fun. The word “Halloween” means “holy evening”. It is to All Saints Day what Mardi Gras is to Lent. I mean, I’m not saying it hasn’t gotten out of hand and commercialized over the years (like most holidays), but it is our tradition. I certainly don't expect them to partake in it since it is not a German tradition. But it is sad to me that I can’t share this celebration with my friends and that they feel so negatively about it. Dave had wanted to have a Halloween party and have the neighbors over to bob for apples, drink cider, and play games. But I didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable or feel like we were trying to take over with our obnoxious American-ness. Sigh. When in Rome and all that.

So instead, we are going to go bowling at Panzer because it is free to anyone in costume. Dave is going as King Arthur, I am Morgana (the witch in the King Arthur story), Claire is a Spider Witch, and Luke is Spiderman. Then we are going trick-or-treating at Patch tonight. Early on I had invited a few German friends to come, but nobody wanted to. Go fig. Anyway, we came up with a twist. This afternoon before bowling, we are going to knock on our neighbors’ doors and GIVE AWAY candy. We made up little orange and black baskets full of candy and toys to wish them a Happy Halloween. I just hope they won’t mind the gummy eyeballs and chocolate severed fingers. Surely they will get the humor. And the good intentions. I hope.